Sachin, thank you.

I still remember the first cricket match I saw back in 1994-95. It was the Singer trophy between India and Sri Lanka. You got out for a duck caught by De Silva. I don't remember my reaction to your dismissal that much. Then came the Titan Cup, 1996 WC, Sharjah- tournaments after tournaments where you escalated to a point which is beyond apex. You never had a pinnacle. You exist in a vast continuum of space. That's exactly the void I have in my heart now.I am not able to watch a video of you clad in blue, standing up and delivering one through the covers or striking one right past the bowler and you just take a look at your left foot, after a follow through- a moment where everything in this world comes to a standstill. It was like God saying, dear humans I am right before you, just see me. In that composure, that elegance I feel the adrenaline gushing through my body and even the hair on my skin rises to catch a glimpse of you. This is not going to be easy. But I will try. One sentence at a time.

In a few years after that, cricket was started to be tagged with the world gambling, a drastic antithesis to the word gentleman. Many people ridiculed me for still watching cricket with the same enthusiasm. The moment hit me hard. I realized I was watching the game for you. I started not just to watch you, but learn from you.

I wanted to know if there are any more adjectives that can be used to describe your batting. I found many. I got interested in English for that sake. Ominous, exquisite, belligerent, graceful, penchant, audacious, cheeky, crafty, etc. When you play the straight drive, it oozes so much class that one can pour it in a cup and save it for some other time. I had a poster of you facing east, so that I do an Abhivadaye whenever I do Sandhyavandhanam.

You are God to me. I see God in stuffs that make me happy. You never expect anything in return. More than my parents, music, family, friend, girl friend.. you surpassed everyone in giving me the delight. Surreal. 

I thought you would end your career in ODIs right after the World Cup triumph, but you continued, much to my delight till March 2012. Incidentally your first and last games were against Pakistan. You have indeed come a full, befitting circle. When a cricketer retires we tend to draw comparisons and trying giving a common platform. We live in a world that loves defining things and loathes ambiguity. So, is Sachin better than Sir Viv? Well, your shoulders that bore the million responsibility will reply to that in a fitting voice.

You play all the shots in the books, score fifties and hundreds time and time again, but the essence is never captured in the highlights or any videos found nowadays. I was fortunate to be able to watch you bat. The future won’t be as lucky as me. The next Sachin is several light years away. They are just going to be born at the wrong time.

I wonder if people wrote in papers during 1987-88 vouching for you to be included in the Indian squad, as soon as possible, like how the situation is today. India has always been a mediocre team- never evolved fully to stamp their dominance. I thank you for giving us fans the belief that we can be world beaters. It was an image created by you along with a few other legends. I am not sure if I should hate or love you for that. I still don't. You took the captaincy band when I was 6 years old. The celebration in the Titan Cup final when you bowled is the one thing I remember about that year.

You never cared about the critics. Nor the criticism. You never read news about you. I am not sure if you have read this piece about how bad it was for the team under the match fixing cloud. For instance, in 2000 Sukumar Vaidyanathan wrote about the match fixing scandal in the Frontline magazine which says this-
".. D.Y Lele offers concrete illustrations of results that have been rigged and then mentions two instances when efforts made by Jadeja and Azharuddin to contrive an outcome of convenience were thwarted by heroic interventions from Sachin Tendulkar. In both cases, Lele seems to suggest, Tendulkar was warned in advance through anonymous calls made to team manager Anshuman Gaekwad, of his two teammates' concealed agenda. Jadeja and Azharuddin played in both instances according to the bookmakers' script. But Tendulkar willed things otherwise."
My respect grew multifolds.

You are selfish. You are possessive. You take pride in scoring as many runs as possible to ensure India wins and that selfishness along with your possessiveness about your wicket took our relationship to the emotional stage. Every time your back strained a muscle, while hitting the ball against Pakistan at Chepauk, I wept. Wept when you toiled unperturbed and put yourself under the torture of sweeping Saqlain Mushtaq, or pulling Wasim Akram. You were a man on a mission. The post match presentation showed me the human you actually were. A rare case of voice breaking throughout the speech, unable to complete the sentences. You felt you let us down. You made us to believe that too. But the truth was, the rest of the team let you down. You single handedly saved India from embarrassments. You felt responsible for the team's failures. You are a team man. Screw people who say you're selfish, playing for records.

I may not be your biggest fan like Sudhir Kumar Gautam. But, There is something magical in you. An aura. People who say that the sport is bigger than an individual do not understand or know your true value. Forget Sachin the brand, or Sachin who got a tax rule modified to get his Ferrari into India. Well, if Spain could bring about the "Beckham's Law" to facilitate his transfer into Real Madrid, you deserve more from your motherland right? This thought process made me feel like a dad rationalizing his son's behavior. I am not complaining, for you made me feel proud at the end of the day.

What else is left to talk? Hmmm. I always wanted to know why you wore a hat? Maybe you love the retro 80's style. You never bat with your cap on. Maybe, you only wanted us to see those smiles you managed to wear on your countenance and not those tensed wrinkles on your forehead every time you built your innings against Warne, McGrath, Akram, Younis, Ambrose, Walsh, Muralitharan, Donald etc. Your smile is infectious, just like the enthusiasm you possess.

You sponsored 200 underprivileged children every year through Apnalaya. You visit Shakti Foundation regularly. A request from you on Twitter raised 1.025 crore through Sachin's crusade against cancer for the Crusade against Cancer foundation. You devoted all of nine hours to the 12-hour Coca-Cola-NDTV Support My School telethon on 18 September 2011 for the creation of basic facilities, particularly toilets for girl students, in 140 government schools across the country. Thank you.

I want to apologize on behalf of every fan who have let you down in this whole journey. For throwing stones that you changed into milestones. We have given up hope on you, when you time and again proved us wrong. We spoke behind your back. There were times we questioned our loyalties, when you have always thanked us and not even hurt us indirectly. If ever we had let you down, we are sorry. Well I do worry about how Saraswathi Vaidyanathan, the 87 year old ardent fan who said to Hindu, that her main aim was to meet you more than her grandchildren, will take the news. You could have just ignored, but you did come down to Chennai and met her. That doesn't make you unique does it? Everyone does that? Really?

It is a strange feeling that I experience when someone talks or writes about you. I feel proud of everything that you have achieved so far- it makes me feel as though I have achieved all your records and milestones.

But what is next for me? I don't know. I will be taking a sabbatical from watching ODIs. If you ask me, with all due respect ODI should retire. Or maybe like how in football, the player's jersey numbers are retired, the no.2 slot in the batting line up should be retired. These are crazy and impossible wishes right? Well, you did the impossible over and over again and made us wish such. So December 23rd, 2012 my childhood comes to a comma. Words fail me now. I might want to say more. But saving it for the test series. The bat and the ball in the purest form of the game awaits for one final spell. Good luck.